the bones and Badassery

I remember my friend Matt took me to a bar.  Matt has a heart of gold, and he looks like Rob Zombie which I think is fuckin' awesome.  The bar was scary and ethereal, it was dark.  All the furniture looked made from rough sawn lumber, splintery and warped, smelled like it was stained dark with used motor oil.  The floor was almost slippery, felt like house dirt wadded up with spider webbing, bar nut shells, dead insects I imagined.  The only contrast to the dirty dark were the ivory and bleached white animal bones decorating the high walls.  The band, dear god, the band made me wanna corkscrew my ear canals out.  The acoustic guitars were bassy and weird, I imagined being trapped in a cave echoing with hundreds of snoring, growling bears.  There was a harmonica that sounded like the player wanted to blow the mechanism out the instrument, or he strapped a shop-vac on reverse to it.  The vocalist sounded actually like the guy from the band "Necrosis" and sang about eating sour grapes and growing up with shitty parents something something rather.  The patrons looked crazy as fuck, like dirty bikers and backwater folks.  I noticed a lot of epic beards going on, and fierce stares behind them. Everyone was bigger than me.  I sat down at the bar and there was no filter, they all chimed in asking "who the fuck is this one?!".  I felt flush in the face, I felt totally out of place, I felt I should make haste and leave this place (spittin' rhymes!).  I felt like if I offend anyone here I'll be dead today, I ordered a beer, an IPA.  I noticed a few had long rifles strapped to their backs, knives and handguns on their belts, lots of leather.  They asked me what I do, I said for fun? "No, dipshit, for work."  I said I paint cars and tattoo.  Then the mood lifted, we talked about tattoos.  We showed each other ours, told stories of where and what (sailor stories).  Then a dude yelled at the bartender, said get this man a menu. They offered to buy me a drink and food, Matt said, "See, these guys are awesome, good people down here".  I looked over the menu, I didn't wanna offend and say no, this is not the time to say I'm a vegetarian and thought, well, if I'm gonna eat meat it should be something I never tried before.  I ordered the seared jackalope, rare (wtf!?), they said alright but you gotta eat the horns too, jokingly.  I noticed a jar of Habu-Sake on the bar, I thought hell yeah, that seems fitting I guess, and I drank a lot of it when I lived in Japan.  I ordered it and they were impressed, smacking my back and toasting me, I felt like I belonged here with these folks, I felt very comfortable in my own skin suddenly.  I slammed the cup and the fumes I breathed felt they would burn my eyes blind.  I said hell yeah, that's on point, coughing, and looked to the jar to find the cobra had its mouth open.  The shitty music was starting to have melody in its weird way, and I last remember trying to identify all the animal bones all over the walls, pointing and telling Matt that's an ibex, hmmm, that's a big cat, that's a fuckin' woolly mammoth.