breakfast with Mercenaries

I first remember a maroon centipede.  It was 2 feet long or so and... girthy (big juicy motherfucker!).  It laid halfway under my bed when I saw it.  I screamed! "Fuck'n hell...  What!... whaahat.. Oh... ooooo!!" and jumped off my bed across the room.  I stood there looking at it, breathing like a woman in labor,  "oooo....oooooooo boy....ooo nooo...eeeeeek!!", I felt angrily fearful.  I figured I'll try some spray, staring at it, it looked fake and I thought to throw something at it, then I noticed its feelers feelin' about (SICK!).  I blocked the closed door with a towel and set off to look for the aerosol spray... or a gun, shit!  Next I remember finding Anne laying on the couch, and I forgot about the centipede while I joined her, yet still conscious of any bugs in this room.  We watched TV and there was an open DVD case on the floor, with a disc placed upside down in it.  In the reflective surface, I saw the ceiling, and saw a praying mantis walk across it.  I jumped up and grabbed a flyswatter.  I was lining up a smack when it suddenly jumped off the ceiling, and I quickly swatted it across the room like a tennis serve.  It landed near Anne's brother, who freaked out a little.  I went after it, mashing it again and again on the carpet yet it wouldn't die.  Instead, it skittered back and forth really fast, hit and run guerrilla warfare against my socks.  Finally, I hit it with the broadside of the flyswatter, and it went down.  When I inspected the poor little corpse, he had a little blue cape on, and I was stricken with guilt for my senseless murder.  Then, all three of us ate leftover Chinese together.  Anne's mom showed up, it was morning and I was packing my camping pack to leave, I guess I had planned to be somewhere.  We never met, I shook her hand and smiled, she said I smell like leather and "Eh.. He's okay I guess...", then turned around and said "Well bye! Thanks for using all the Wi-Fi (???) and eating all our food!", jokingly.  I left in good spirits, going on a hike, there was cool humidity in the air and I approached a campsite with a few log houses and tents pitched all around.  We were renting rooms and camping out there, "We" being people I know from playing MechWarrior (yesssss.....), in the Blackthornes Merc Group.  We were on our way to play in a tournament, everyone was waiting for me in the mess cabin at the dining table.  We all sat together before breakfast and prayed.  That's all I remember.

???

I dreamed once that Cher was my mom.  All the mirrors in the house that I grew up in were like funhouse mirrors, I hated to look in them but it seemed I couldn't escape a glance into them.  My mom's attitude towards me was like Cher from the movie "Mask", and if you remember that movie, I dreamed I was Rocky.  That's all I remember.

the hospital and rat Poison

I remember my grandma's house.  It was dark out, I remember if you get on the roof you have a good view of Shiprock rock next to the hospital that has an artsy structure on top that looks like a pair of perky ears .  They were both exaggerated in my dream, the hospital structure was massive, seemed to be the corner of the world, lit with recessed lighting from the ground, the sandy colored bricks reflecting yellow and gold light.  Shiprock rock was in the distance, but just as big, also accentuated with light but reflecting more neon reddish.  I looked at the stars above both monuments, and saw a commercial jet, jumbo jet, whatever, and it was pointing nose down slowly flying towards the ground.  As if from nothing, behind it materialized a faster military jet, which shot a missile at the commercial airliner.  The missile spewed out glittery sparks behind it, for miles across the sky, colliding and detonating on target.  The commercial airliner broke in half, streaking flames to the ground.  I freaked out!  I ran inside, my mom was there ironing her uniforms.  I changed the TV to the news channel, telling her what I seen, she didn't seem to care, and when the announcement came, she didn't acknowledge it much.  I woke up a bit, it was cold in my bedroom and raining out.  I shut my window, laid back to sleep.  Then, I went to a warehouse complex, inside it was carpeted and even up the walls a bit higher than my head.  My cousin Leon was there, we were both going to work.  Throughout the complex, there were tables set up for people to sell things, most of them were selling archery equipment.  Leon tried the bows, talking how much he really wants to buy a blowgun if he could find one.  I thought it a waste of time, but still I admired how Leon could allow himself to be child-like sometimes.  We went through a restroom with a janitors closet inside.  The restroom was the restroom I remember from bootcamp, I was in "ship-staff" and cleaned the heads, swabbed the poop deck.  We used to all take packets of jelly, saltine crackers and peanut butter to hide in the pipework access.  I stocked our stash, I magically had crackers in my pockets, then we grabbed aerosol cans of some sort of rodent killer.  They had red barrels taped to them, which we had to screw onto the can nozzle.  Leon told me "this shit is really scary dangerous, don't touch the foam it sprays or breath the fumes".  We went to work, which I guess was hunting rats in the building, listening to walls and spraying behind the wall carpets.  We went outside and Leon said sometimes the rats hide in old birds nests, I found one in a corner of the wall high up, it was silent inside so I sprayed it.  The nest fell, and there were baby birds chirping in the foam.  I thought aaaagh! fuck no... and scrambled to pick them out.  They seemed fine, I grabbed parts that weren't covered in foam and threw them across the concrete.  Then, I felt the fumes burning my tongue and throat, sinuses and eyes, I ran away from it, coughing and spitting and wiping and freakin' out.  Leon said I need to go to the hospital and I remembered the commercial plane and wondered if I would see any survivors there.  I said I accidently sprayed those birds, and he said no worries it only works on rats.  That's all I remember.

the bones and Badassery

I remember my friend Matt took me to a bar.  Matt has a heart of gold, and he looks like Rob Zombie which I think is fuckin' awesome.  The bar was scary and ethereal, it was dark.  All the furniture looked made from rough sawn lumber, splintery and warped, smelled like it was stained dark with used motor oil.  The floor was almost slippery, felt like house dirt wadded up with spider webbing, bar nut shells, dead insects I imagined.  The only contrast to the dirty dark were the ivory and bleached white animal bones decorating the high walls.  The band, dear god, the band made me wanna corkscrew my ear canals out.  The acoustic guitars were bassy and weird, I imagined being trapped in a cave echoing with hundreds of snoring, growling bears.  There was a harmonica that sounded like the player wanted to blow the mechanism out the instrument, or he strapped a shop-vac on reverse to it.  The vocalist sounded actually like the guy from the band "Necrosis" and sang about eating sour grapes and growing up with shitty parents something something rather.  The patrons looked crazy as fuck, like dirty bikers and backwater folks.  I noticed a lot of epic beards going on, and fierce stares behind them. Everyone was bigger than me.  I sat down at the bar and there was no filter, they all chimed in asking "who the fuck is this one?!".  I felt flush in the face, I felt totally out of place, I felt I should make haste and leave this place (spittin' rhymes!).  I felt like if I offend anyone here I'll be dead today, I ordered a beer, an IPA.  I noticed a few had long rifles strapped to their backs, knives and handguns on their belts, lots of leather.  They asked me what I do, I said for fun? "No, dipshit, for work."  I said I paint cars and tattoo.  Then the mood lifted, we talked about tattoos.  We showed each other ours, told stories of where and what (sailor stories).  Then a dude yelled at the bartender, said get this man a menu. They offered to buy me a drink and food, Matt said, "See, these guys are awesome, good people down here".  I looked over the menu, I didn't wanna offend and say no, this is not the time to say I'm a vegetarian and thought, well, if I'm gonna eat meat it should be something I never tried before.  I ordered the seared jackalope, rare (wtf!?), they said alright but you gotta eat the horns too, jokingly.  I noticed a jar of Habu-Sake on the bar, I thought hell yeah, that seems fitting I guess, and I drank a lot of it when I lived in Japan.  I ordered it and they were impressed, smacking my back and toasting me, I felt like I belonged here with these folks, I felt very comfortable in my own skin suddenly.  I slammed the cup and the fumes I breathed felt they would burn my eyes blind.  I said hell yeah, that's on point, coughing, and looked to the jar to find the cobra had its mouth open.  The shitty music was starting to have melody in its weird way, and I last remember trying to identify all the animal bones all over the walls, pointing and telling Matt that's an ibex, hmmm, that's a big cat, that's a fuckin' woolly mammoth.

the apple banana twenty eight Tango

I remember there was a party in an unfamiliar apartment.  Outside the apartment, in the hallway, was the Disbursing office where I used to work.  At the party, I met my old friend Valles, she worked in the Personnel office across the hall (p-way in naval lexicon).  I said hey what's up, and we didn't know anyone there so we kinda stayed close.  Then, some unsavory folks came and demanded someone open the Disbursing door, they meant to break into the vault.  As it seemed, only I knew the combination to the door, so they took me to the door and said open it.  I resisted, and lied to them saying I was too drunk and had to have a few minutes to remember the code, then I started to act dramatically inebriated, it was fun.  So, they left me alone to open it.  There were two doors to the office, from the hallway was an unlocked glass door to a small waiting room, then the actual locked door and the barred service window.  I stood in the waiting area, and I let Valles in when she walked past.  I told her to watch the window while I open the door to lock us both safely inside until working hours.  While I unlocked the door, someone outside in the hall closed some wooden shades on the glass door, and Valles couldn't keep a look out.  So, we went back to the party.  There, someone said the guys took off because I couldn't unlock the door, I thought great!  I asked Valles to get a drink for me while I went back to lock the Disbursing door again, she said alright cool.  When I got into the waiting area, there were girls waiting, they looked really slutty.  They told me to open the vault, already inside the office because I left it unlocked.  I said no, thinking these broads look harmless they can't make me, then one of them pointed a straw at me and blew white powder out.  I ducked and felt the substance hit the back of my neck, it filled the air around me and I was drugged.  The walls went wavy, I felt airy and instantly lethargic.  The girls carried me inside to the vault, I was very non-compliant.  I yelled at them that I didn't know the combination to the vault anyway, and not to touch me because I didn't want to smell like body spray and get glitter all over me.  The combination was in numbers, and I was bullshitting with them, acting ridiculous and dramatic so maybe they'll go away like the guys did earlier.  I told them it's all I know, the numerical combination is apple banana twenty eight tango (not really numerical), I laughed and said fuck you nasty sluts just lock the door on the way out, I was starting to feel psychotic.  One of the girls was on a laptop, and she said that the bullshit code I gave them worked.  WTF?!?! They got into the vault and I felt confused, and still dazed.  I woke up angry and had to laugh it off a bit.

Meditation

I imagined I wasn't alone, I was feeling lonely, I miss her.  I imagined Anne.  She lay underneath me.  I closed my eyes, she's stunning, this I know, she doesn't need to wear make-up ever.  I wanted to see her further tonight, I felt her life close to mine, I felt like I could see her differently.  I could see her body, highlighted with specks of light, growing more prevalent as wherever we lay receded into nothing.  It all didn't matter, just her and me, swarms of speckled lights shining for each other, lost together in endless universe.  I used all I had, twinkling light and color, rushing and accepted into hers and we danced together, a swirling galaxy, slow yet great, endless I imagined our lights, intense and brilliant at the core of us.  I felt drunk and dizzied, I imagined this and felt this, allowing it to consume me until I fell asleep.  I woke later still sitting cross legged against the wall, deeply refreshed and deeply touched by you.

the sacrifices in War

I remember it was hot as I lay in bed.  I was tossing and turning a lot, that half asleep feeling.  Half awake?  I dreamed that I woke up where I was, in my bed, I heard miniature explosions all around me.  There were little battlemechs engaged in a battle, from Mechwarrior (yessss....), all over me, the bed and the floor.  I got up slowly and carefully, trying not to crush anyones 'mech.  I put my shoes on, kind of annoyed as I caught a few stray shots, just stung.  I took a step in the dark, and I heard a scream.  I turned on the light, and there was a rat on the floor, I saw that I had stepped on his tail and severed it off.  He stood erect, holding his severed tail, staring at it looking very perplexed.  When he noticed me noticing him, he looked at me and said, "I forgot what I needed this for?".  I really woke (freaky talking vermin!) and remember it was still hot and I had been moving a lot.  Then, I remember seeing my old friend, she likes art and break dancing.  She had a son, I never seen him though, but I dreamed I met him.  I ran carrying him from explosive sounds, along a river.  He was scared, so I put him on a big wheel and said see if you can beat this basketball, and threw the ball in the river.  It floated downstream quickly, he got excited and took off after it.  I almost couldn't keep up running, then we came upon a mall.  I said we should go in and see if any stores are open.  Inside, there were many people hiding, and people said it was the North Koreans invading, there was fear everywhere.  Suddenly, people said and ran to see there was an unnaturally large python next to a Fuzziwigs.  It was coiled and held its head high, looking wildly at all the people, tasting the air.  "It's so fuckin' big!" they said, I said "Yup! It's a B.M.F!" and laughed, coiled it was as big as a car.  No one was scared of it, just walked around allowing it plenty of space, amazed at it, respecting it.  There was a janitor standing very close to it, on his walkie-talkie, trying to contact animal control.  People were being led to buses outside, we jumped on one and the driver said all children should be together in the back, so I told the boy go on it's okay.  I stood in the aisle, and there was a group in a couple seats conspiring with each other, passing firearms around.  They offered me one, chanting "back a nation, reason to slice in".  I thought you squirrels are off your nuts, it got weird, but I took it.  Then, some short people in tactical gear and weapons screamed at us, entering the bus.  They spoke foreign languages, I blocked them in the aisle for fear of the little ones.  They shot me, and I fell into a seat on top of other people that had fallen too.  I felt pressure in my side and I shot them back, emptying the weapon.  The soldiers freaked out, some ran out after dropping their weapons, some danced erratically and squealed, all checking themselves for holes, but nothing, they were all fine.  I screamed out loud, "Really!? What the fuck?!", and a girl who laid next to me, looking shot up and dead, opened her eyes and said "Shhh... just pretend, they'll go away..".  Then, she unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it open, revealing a vest with bullets caught in it, she smiled.  I felt scared and really weirded out (why didn't I get a vest!?!), then I looked at my side and realized I had been shot with a paintball.  I pretended to be dead, and I heard a news anchor on the bus radio saying we were winning the war because the pythons were poisoning and eating the North Koreans, that's why the snakes were getting so big.  I felt my hot bedroom again and woke up.

the salty Ghosts

I first remember seeing the Sun, except it was distorted with waves, I thought to myself, "Yup, I'm dreaming... and thinking still".  I think the Sun is rising behind the blinds, making it look wavy, but wait that doesn't seem possible.  Oh wait, I don't even have blinds, I nailed a bedsheet over the window, remember?  I think I was angry and depressed, I just wanted to sleep, so I nailed it up, shut out the Sun, realizing it was years ago, wow.  It was always so bright, back when the bedroom mattered.  When it was kept, not barren and dark, full of ghostly memories..... Oh wait!, fuck this!, I'm dreaming.  Where's the Sun? Still there, it's wavy and I'm weightless, I'm under the ocean.  I start to panic... I hate water! I started hyperventilating, it felt like tens of thousands of metric tons of water squeezing me, collapsing me, but I was still breathing, just laboriously.  I was further convinced I was under water when I saw the bellies of sharks, some gliding, some swimming, like how tough guys walk in the gym.  I felt scared, I felt so scared and lost, I cried.  Oh wait, fuck this, I'm dreaming.  I can breathe, somehow, and I'll wait for the sharks to pass, I think I'll make it.  I hate water... I hate it so much... I hate anything I'm forced to tolerate, because I'm so good at it.  Tolerating everyone and every circumstance.  Oh wait... fuck this... I'm dreaming... I can do what I want here, I'm safe here, right?  I cried, and suddenly the water tastes salty.  A ship passed over, I can hear its sails.  It sounds like a tree with rustling leaves, a great tree in a great wind.  I saw its roots networking out of the ships' belly, raking the seafloor.  The roots graced me, suddenly lifting me out of ground, not water, churning the earth around me effortlessly.  I was dirty.  The water was gone, the sharks were gone, the Sun was warm, the darkness was pushed away, I breathed effortlessly, the air tasted sweet under the tree.  It's time, I thought to myself, it's time to open my window.  Let the ghosts out. I cried again.

the Anima

(hrmmm)..........I dreamed I was a girl.  I didn't look to see in a mirror or anything, the body mattered not, I wasn't shocked or disgusted either.  However, recollecting it is a bit bizarre.  I went to a sporting goods store and I got the vibe from other people that I was feminine.  I walked to the firearm counter, I told the guy I wanted to buy a gun.  He became overtly authoritative with me, and creepy, and said well I think these are your best options, and started showing me small caliber handguns. I said no I was looking for a snub-nose in .357 magnum or a semi in .40 S&W, whichever was in budget.  He asked if it was a gift for someone, I was like the hell? "No, it's for me."  He started to stress to me how much recoil it was and said the models he chose for me are more popular girl choices.  He asked what I "thought" I needed a more powerful caliber for... I got annoyed, and said well I'll just look around (None of your fuckin' business!).  Then, another dude comes up behind me, and they both start geeking out on ballistics and firearm knowledge, almost arguing what they thought was best for me.  I walked off, further down the counter looking at the pieces.  I saw what I wanted, A convertible snub-nose, in .357 magnum and .38 special, that way I could buy cheaper .38 ammo for practice and magnum for to make me feel safe.  It was pretty too <3 <3 <3.  I decided not to bother with those guys, they were creepy, I went to the shelves stocked with ammo, and started looking for what I wanted.  I picked up a box of pricey .357 magnum hollow-points, then started looking for a box of .38 special bulk cheap stuff.  I saw what I wanted, but there was an old man standing there staring at the boxes.  I waited patiently, he looked confused, and impatiently, "Excuse me, sir!  Can I just get past you a second...?".  He didn't answer, I felt weird, then he noticed me and said "Oh!  I'm sorry darlin', I can't figure out what I need."  I asked him what he was looking for exactly, he didn't answer, just stared at me.  Really awkward, so I just slid by him and made a beeline for the box of .38's.  He watched, then asked me how I knew what to buy.  I said "uuuuhhh, what?", and thought (uuuuhhh, for fucks' sake why won't these 'tards leave me alone)... He didn't answer.  Then I realized he couldn't hear very well.  The next moments were weird, I gave a bit of information to him, which opened me up to more of his inquiries, which I almost had to yell in his ear for, escalating our conversation.  I started to get irritated, I remember yelling "The lower bullet weight on .38's will shoot a flatter trajectory, which simulates the .357 better in accuracy, but the recoil will be much higher in .357, and it's also (blah-blah-shplee)!!!".  Everyone heard me, I felt flush in the face, I had about had it with the old man, and I picked a box for him and put it in his hand and said "TRY THESE!", giving him a thumbs up.  I left back to the counter, before he called me darlin' or sweetheart again (yuck), put down my 2 boxes and said I want to fill out paperwork for that snub-nose.  That's all I remember.

the dirty Money 2

I dreamed that I was playing Mechwarrior Online, in a long hallway.  It was lined with computers.  I had my phone on the table, I was texting folks while gaming.  There was a guy sitting next to me, I recognize him as a complete asshole to me when I was a kid.  He is very fat and geeky looking.  I looked at my phone and got angry, my phone was different, all the apps were replaced with weird apps I never had on my phone, I looked through my contact list and it wasn't right.  He asked if I had a problem, I said yeah my phone is whacking out, he offered a solution if I gave him some money, like he was some genius tech.  I sensed a scam, I grabbed his phone out of his shirt pocket and looked in it, it was a different physical phone but it had my apps and my contacts in it.  Somehow he switched it, scamming me to pay to have it fixed.  I took both phones and went back to my room, I asked my friend Nathan to fix it, for some reason I see him as the cellphone guy.  We joke a lot, and said he would fix it if I fight him.  I obliged, he's a big boy and can handle it, but partway through our skirmish I remembered he has a heart condition and I stopped for a moment, he smashed my nose and I bled, oops.  I said no worries man, GG WP, and he offered to fix it, my phone not my nose.  He opened his closet, and realized his PC was gone, then mentioned a fat dude was in here last.  I guess he needed his PC to fix phones.  I said I know the fucker you're talking about, I reached into my closet, there was a small drawer near the ceiling, felt around and pulled out my 9mm pistol.  I said I'll empty all 15 hollow points into his gut until he returns our things, Nathan said alright cool man, both very nonchalant about it.  We went to his room down the hall, and he was inside with my friend Latimer.  Latimer was always such a peacemaker, we said why we were here and he led us back to our room, and that he will talk to his roommate about our shit. I don't remember him leaving or coming back, but I remember he offered a solution.  He said the three of us should make a Chu-Hi tower (in Japan, where I met Latimer, we used to drink Chu-Hi and make pyramids out of the cans, very drunk times.  He also used to call me Maynard, after the artist James Maynard Keenan, because I used to sing Tool and A Perfect Circle songs in karaoke bars).  Then, he gave me a drawer and said replace the drawer in my closet with it.  I did, and placed my pistol in the new drawer.  Latimer says "Hey Maynard, check this out..." and dug in the drawer, of which only my pistol was in.  He pulled out wads of cash.  I was like omg wtf, and I had an old feeling I always got around Latimer, like this could get us in deep shit soon, I'm sure.  He did it again and again, pulling out crispy new bills and wadded old ratty ones, in differing random denominations.  I told him to stop, I took enough from him to buy another PC for Nathan, so he could fix my phone.  That's all I remember.

about dreaming

Think of your body. Your circulatory system, it has a heart that pumps, always working. Your arteries are main highways, like the trunk and branches of a tree, pumping nutrients to where it's needed. It's natural. Your brain controls your heart, think of your brain. Its main connection is to your neural path.  It tells your body what to do.  It works hard always.  Just like branches stemming to twigs and leaves, your blood system connects to unseen micro uses, to your fingertips and toes.  Your nerves do the same, to microscopic uses, to microscopic work.  Always working.  When we sleep, when our body shuts down, we can see the hardest parts of us at work, we dream.  This is natural.  Like society, think of leaves as people, from growth, from a small sprout, to a mighty tree.  People working together can create a mighty tree, rooted deep and beautiful and wondrous, aged to perfection.  What's natural about that tree?  How many leaves died and fell withered through the seasons.  Many were robbed of sunlight, as higher and wider branches fought among each other for sunlight.  Always growing, a moment in the Sun, in bliss, a sense of work being done, while underneath that which didn't grow fast enough died.  But still, all for one cause, the tree.  Like society.  Now, back to the body, we are blessed because we can sleep, much like a tree in winter.  When we sleep we see the hardest parts of ourselves working, the tree in winter doesn't grow, but saves itself, survives.  Trees don't dream while sleeping, but we do.  We see images of ourselves growing, and that's important.  We know what parts of our lives to leave behind, what parts need growth, so when we wake we have an idea what needs be done.  The tree knows what parts to grow to best collect the Sun in spring.  It's natural.  But, we are blessed with choice.  We can grow not together, favor a branch, suffer and die altogether.  We can corrupt our body and not grow in spring, the Sun could scorch our barren branches.  Roots might not find water.  Rest is important, dreams are important, work is important, growth and sacrifice is important.  Our perfect example is like the tree, children with uncorrupted hearts, and a good persons aged wisdom.

the wrists of Kings

I first remember feeling scared, like when you know you really messed up and you're anticipating the outcome.  I was tied to a wooden pole behind my back, like a reverse hug, slunk into the ropes.  It was very uncomfortable, and there were people in front of me locked in a barred cell.  The room was dark and dusty. Someone behind me asked what I would do to let them free, I said I'll stay here and stay tied, even though the people caged included people I loathe.  He said fine, and let them go.  He was unnaturally tall, and wore an even longer black robe with an elongated red cross on the back, and massive musculature was visible under it.  When he turned to me, I seen his sword was the same dimension and color as the cross on his back.  He asked me what I would do to be set free, I said I'll let him cut off my hand so I'll never be able to be tied at the wrist again.  He said fine, and cut the ropes.  Then, I willingly put my left hand on a chopping block, and I remembered a scene from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, with Kevin Costner readying his hand to be chopped in place of his friend.  It made me laugh remembering that, like this is kinda corny, and I thought when he sees how fearless I had become he would let me go with all my parts still attached.  Nope, he hacked my hand off at the wrist quickly, and I was a bit shocked.  I said "Fuck! I didn't think you would really do it, jerk-face!".  He laughed, and said "I didn't think you would let me do it".  Then, he gave me my hand, and I put it in my pocket with a humbled satisfaction, I could reattach it at the hospital if I hurry, and thought it ironic I was stuffing my left hand in my right pocket.  Anxiously, I asked if I was free to go, and he said not yet.  He asked even though I can't be tied at the wrist again, how would I wear an expensive gold watch or gold chain?  I said I didn't care for those things, and told him I intend to reattach my hand when he let me go.  Then, he said good, go get it healed, and that gold is as worthless as the dirty ropes if I have a Queens hand holding my wrist.  I hurried out, and last remembered feeling much urgency because it hadn't before, but now started to bleed as my heart quickened to run.

???

I dreamed that underneath a crucifix hanging near the front door, containing 1st Corinthians 13, verses 4 to 7, I successfully nailed a brontosaurus shaped Jello to the wall.

the animal House

I dreamed it was night out, a group was in a van with a sliding door, full of things.  We were moving into a new house, Cody Lundin was driving (yessss...).  We reached the house and there were more people moving in with us, it was a large house and no lights were on except for TV's and computers and faces lit by smartphones.  I walked into one of the bedrooms and there was a dude playing video games, I didn't recognize him.  He said there was a snake in the drawer in his armoire, I was scared it was a rattlesnake, but I opened it anyway.  The thing bit my finger.  I thought oh hell no, shit shit shit.. but then Cody Lundin said it wasn't a poisonous species and pulled it slowly out of the drawer.  As he pulled, we discovered the tail end of the snake was inside a real rattlesnakes mouth, it was in the process of being swallowed.  He dropped it and the three of us freaked out, ran in the hall, locked the door and I took my shirt off and stuffed it under the door so it couldn't creep out there.  We went to find help, I entered a room that was wall to wall stuffed with reptile terrariums and fish tanks.  You could hear the electricity in the room, and it smelled like poop.  There was unnatural humidity in there and was softly lit by red heat lamps.  It was gross, you could hear all the creatures skittering around in their little glass cells.  I looked around but no one was in the room, so I left to the living room.  It was still dark inside, there were people on the couches and on the cozy carpeted floor curled up in mountains of blankets.  I looked behind a couch and found a chinchilla, and I slowly reached out to grab him.  He snarled at me, it sounded like Donald Duck sneezed then had an epileptic seizure, but I picked him up successfully.  I felt like o.m.g... this vermin is fuckin' adorable, and my heart exploded from the stupid amount of cuteness.  I pet him, and I realized in the blankets next to the couch on the floor were a group of infant chimpanzees staring at me.  I froze, then freaked out when the momma screamed at me and chased me across the room, pounding the carpet with her fists.  I clung to my chinchilla, "I won't let anything happen to you, buddy..", and I felt like crying when i got cornered but she stopped.  I realized I was next to a nest that was glowing blue, as big as the couches, and there were strange birds in it staring at me.  They looked like if black flamingos curled into balls like a coiled snake, with glowing blue lines along their bodies.  They seemed harmless, but I didn't wanna touch them.  Then I woke up at 3 a.m. on the couch, Animal Planet on the TV.

the multicultural Mayhem

I remember I was in the fellowship hall of the church I grew up in.  There is a cutout in the wall leading to the kitchen, where I was looking out of, standing at attention.  I was in uniform, in my cracker-jacks, and was being prepped for standing detail in the fellowship hall.  I marched out and took my post near an extremely long dinner table, the fellowship hall had lengthened to fit it, the end of the room seemed to disappear it was so far.  The walls, normally a soft yellow, had turned brilliant white as well as the linoleum floor.  It started to fill with people, and the table was being set by folks who look like they work at Red Lobster.  Around where I stood, girls in differing pastel colored clothes danced around, each having a necklace reaching from the neck down past their hips, and just as wide, all made of blown glass.  The girls looked of Asian descent.  It looked like someone melted all the glass art in the middle of the mall stand into frail looking geometric shapes, but they danced without breaking them.  All the while, men wearing street clothes were moving among them, each holding spears.  The men looked of African descent.  They teased the girls, and soon started teasing me with sharp spears, poking at my uniform, testing my ability to remain at attention.  I became agitated, and also of the whole crazy scene.  When the table was filled with food in a catering buffet style, a procession brought out what looked like a cake.  It was suspended in a frail looking network of blown glass, like the necklaces.  They rolled it out to the table end and were about to transport it by hand from the cart to the table.  Vicariously, I wished they would screw it up and drop it, and they did.  I was close, so I reached a hand out to try and help save it, but the glass didn't hold, just broke around my hand like I punched through cotton candy.  The center cake portion plopped on the floor, catching glass pieces in it. Still, a sense of "haw-haw... called it!" satisfaction filled me, until I realized I broke attention.  Interestingly, the people were more upset at me than of the cake procession fucking up.  They yelled at me, and I started dodging the spear men stabbing and slicing at me.  Then, someone broke the mayhem by yelling the food is ready, and the people instantly lined up in a procession down the length of the table and across the walls, and disappearing down the hallway next to the kitchen.  It got very silent in the hall, not without people glaring at me with disgusted faces.  I was directing them with full plates out of the fellowship hall, and I realized I wasn't gesturing the direction with my arms, but I still stood at attention while gesturing with wings that had appeared on my back.  That's all I remember.  I also thought to myself what the actual fuck, man!?

the magic Nails

I dreamed I was at a cafe, outside at a table.  The cafe was dark inside and the structure outside was dark in color.  It opened to a pavilion that was surrounded with more dark structures, yet the concrete floor was almost white.  It reflected so much light, contrasting the buildings, it hurt to look at, as well as all the hipsters walking about.  I excused myself from the table, my cellphone was ringing.  It was my ex, and I had rehearsed what I would say if she ever called.  I answered the phone and she was crying.  I didn't let her talk though, I said every time I heard from her I would inevitably be angered or saddened, reminded of how stupid and naive the things I did made me feel.  I said please don't use my number again, I didn't listen or care for her response, I hung up.  When I got back to the table, Anne was there and I felt relief.  I found my fingertips were taped individually, like in band-aids.  Anne took them all off, revealing my fingernails were broken and torn, from the tips to the cuticles.  It looked gross, but I watched her rub my fingertips one by one, leaving the nails healed.  That's all I remember.

feelin' Stabby

I guess some dreams light your dark side.  It started in a covert office, I was with my friend Josh.  We were making knives, I made two large ones with thin, flexible gold blades, about the size of meat cleavers.  I gave them to josh, and he had made me a very thick bladed gold Bowie knife, it was unnaturally heavy and I couldn't lift it with just one arm.  We were angry, and there was talk between us about how to get into other parts of the building, which was full of offices and hallways lit only with red exit signs and computer monitor screensavers.  We crept out of our office, trying all the doors quietly.  One was open, we went in and Josh stabbed the man inside working at his desk.  We left silently, and found another open door.  It was my turn to slice in, and the knife was so heavy to lift.  I thought I could lift it above the victims head and let gravity work, but it was absent.  I struggled to bring the knife down into his shoulder, it took a long time but I got it all the way in.  We went looking for more, and found an open room that looked like an indoor paintball course.  There was a group of people against a wall, only one light above their heads was on, we crept behind the silhouettes of the inflatable obstacles.  They were posing for a camera, when we got close they screamed at us for ruining their shot.  We stabbed them all and left quickly, the Sun was rising and more people would show up to the office.  On the way out of the building, Josh saw a group of people outside in a courtyard, I thought it was a bad idea but Josh said fuck it, so I watched him through the glass doors.  He stabbed a girl and she screamed, and all the other people in the yard looked at Josh as he froze.  I thought I need to leave right now, and put the heavy knife in my front pocket.  It cut through the bottom of the pocket and fell down my pant leg as I walked hastily out.  That's all I remember.

the psycho bus Drivers

I was on a drive with Anne.  It felt like an old car, the windows were down yet it was still warm and the wind was drying my lips.  We drove out into what looked like desert, the dirt road was red and the horizons were visible forever, it was so flat.  We stopped and kissed, just being together, I crossed my legs outside the drivers window.  We decided to leave, and got back on a highway.  There was a red sports car that sped past us, braked, then sped past again and again, it was kinda annoying.  Then, a yellow school bus rear ended it, and another ran over its front end when the car was pushed and started to turn right.  It was short enough that it fit underneath the bus, and drove wildly under the bus, it looked like a a firework spinning and curving along the highway, showers of sparks until it stopped in the dirt.  The buses moved forward and around us, one behind, one in front and two on each side, squeezing closer and slowly stopping.  When we came to a complete stop, the gaps between the buses didn't look like a person could squeeze through, and the buses in front and behind began to slowly squeeze us, the car slowly crinkling and popping.  We panicked, and escaped by crawling under the buses.  When we emerged on the side of the road, we were on a city street with tall buildings and lots of people walking about.  That's all I remember.

the annoying Girl

I dreamed I was at a house party.  Most everyone who was there I recognized as faces from my ships crew.  Half the room looked like a cozy apartment and the other half looked like a dimly lit bar with a pool table and a high testosterone game of darts, lots of cursing and slamming shots, but I was having fun doing it.  One of the girls came up to me and said there was someone at the door for me, so I went over to the apartment side and there was a girl there smoking a cigarette in the front doorway, I didn't recognize her, she put out the smoke and said sorry.  I asked what she was doing here, she said she was next door and didn't want her parents to see her smoking so she came over here.  I said whatever, and she was about to leave when she presented me with some drawings she had done for me.  I told her that's kinda weird, so she taped them up outside the front window so everyone could see.  My friends started pulling the drawings down and looked at them, telling me she was kinda crazy psycho for you.  When I went back inside, the party had changed to like a cocktail event, guys smelled like too much cologne, girls in evening dress and dark make-up.  The girl smoking inside was there also, she was a waitress, and came up to me while I sat at a table with some friends, and I remember thinking please don't do anything bizarre, just be a professional.  She approaches the table to take drink orders, and when she gets to me says I know you'll have a glass of pinot noir and begins teasing me in front of everyone.  She sits next to me and takes food from my plate, and ate with her mouth open, making smack noises.  She gets closer to me and says she wants my opinion of something, and shows me a brochure of houses and says she is trying to buy a house for her and her two kids.  I had become annoyed and didn't want to answer her, and then I became really angry when she kissed my ear.  I left, walking outside onto a wood patio with no roof, and looked at the stars.  There was something blocking them and moving across the sky, and when it caught the moons light, it was like a massive red curtain, wadded up and drifting in orbit, like an amoeba.  That's all I remember.