the snide and the Spite

I was severely annoyed with my sister.  She made a snide comment the other day when I told her to close the door because it let flies in that landed on my salad.  She replied "You should get a screen door", among other mumbled bullshit she speaks.  I dreamed we were hiking, and had to stop to make a fire.  We were lost, I picked up some dead fall and started to process it for the fire, thinking I just want to get home, I'm not enjoying nature having to take care of my sister. She pulled out a hatchet, and I felt irritated, because she has to have every "nice to have" thing.  I told her the hatchet was heavy and she didn't need to bring it, you can break logs by stomping or using your hands.  It doesn't need to look pretty, it's gonna get burned anyway.  It was also how grandpa lost his eye, flying wood chips.  She didn't pay attention, just started hacking away, mumbling to herself.  I thought I would have the fire up and going before she hacked through the one branch.  I was seething with suppressed spite and anger.  Suddenly, that feeling went away when I heard a sharp buzzing noise and a hiss like an old cat.  I took the branch I was in the middle of breaking and ran over to her.  I pinned the rattlesnakes' head to the rocks and twisted the branch until it ground through the neck and its earthy colored head popped off.  The body twisted and curled up the branch, then disappeared when I dropped it, becoming the rocks.  I felt a sick pinch in my gut when I looked at my sister who had pulled her pant leg over her calf.  The ground she stood on camouflaged it, and I hated the earth for producing and injecting her with an acidic hell.  I thought for fucks sake, why couldn't it have been me if it was gonna happen, I felt foolish for feeling how I felt earlier.  The two holes in her leg oozed, the left side was a neon blue, the right was a neon yellow oily liquid.  I kept thinking it should have been me, I'm bigger and calmer.  She is in shock and little, I abandoned the tourniquet, I thought her hyper heart probably spread the venom completely through her by now.  I picked her up fireman style and kept telling her to try and be calm, yet she was not capable of it now, she screamed about death and hysteria, I felt her words making me psychotically panicked and my thighs were already starting to burn when I woke up.

the attack Puppet

I smelled burnt popcorn.  It was dusk in Japan, I was in my shoebox apartment, a window at one end and a combination front door-kitchen-bathroom at the other.  I felt woozy, like I woke with a killer hangover.  I was with Anne, and she was freaking out.  There was something outside the door trying to get in, so I got the bat off the coat hangar hanging from the door, and slowly unlocked the door, trying to be silent about it.  I wanted to open the door quickly, hoping to scare off whatever it was.  When I did, there was a scream from outside on the concrete floor a few feet away, and a dinosaur about as tall me was glaring wildly back.  I freaked out, it looked like a velociraptor, it had feathers on its head and under its arms, it was crazy neon colors and screamed like a little girl.  I couldn't completely shut the door in time, its arms and head were caught in it and I struggled to keep it pinned there.  Anne screamed that it likes popcorn, and I told her to open the bag of burnt popcorn and throw it through the space in the door.  She did, and then I heard a mans voice outside say "Who throws popcorn!?", and started to make agonizing sounds about the hot oil burning him.  The dinosaur stopped moving, and i opened the door to discover a man holding sticks that ended in a velociraptor head and arms.  All I remember.

stress

I remember being in the downstairs 1/2 bathroom,  it felt like I was eating stale tortilla chips but tasted sharp, organic, and metallic. Like I licked a lawnmower blade clean, my gums like an allergic swelling reaction to it.  My mouth hurt, my teeth sent signals to my head with every heart beat.  I felt grit in my mouth, but found nothing in the mirror, I rubbed my tongue around my teeth more and more, trying to spit it out but nothing.  Then, I felt a warm wetness flood my mouth, and I tasted iron.  I spat blood into the sink, and thought okay.. no biggie, chill out.  Swish it with water, clean it out, and I filled my mouth from the sink and swished, the blood filled my mouth and a tooth came out.  I looked for a nerve ending, and winced at the pain, I pulled the stopper on the sink to save my tooth.  Then another came out.  I panicked, and opened my mouth for fear of letting my teeth grind on each other.  i pushed on my incisors with my finger, spitting grams of blood, and they came loose.  I again filled my mouth with water and swished, and spit out blood and teeth.  All of them, I was afraid to close my mouth and breathed cautiously through my nose.  I stared at my reflection with my mouth open toward the sink, letting the blood and drool out, i started to look behind the mirror, the medicine cabinet, for a gauze.  I thought using the toilet paper would be too messy, until I thought of biting down on an entire roll, then I woke up.

the strawberry Kiss

First I saw my ex, with her bf.  I was a spectator in a game show, they were contestants.  I sat on a metal bleacher, in the dark, behind a few camera crews and the stage was well lit.  The game was an eating contest, the contestants had to eat bizarre things.  She was first, and she was presented with a ceramic table lamp.  She resisted, but her bf  kept urging her "come on!... come on!".  He was really hyper.  She did it, swallowing the lamp whole, you could see the shape of the lamp in her throat, and she began to choke while crushing the ceramic in her throat, like how a snake eats an egg.  She was crying after she swallowed it, and it was his turn.  He was presented with a medieval armored chest plate.  The crowd was all hyped up and he was jumping around excited, then backed out of the competition and said he couldn't do it.  My attention turned to the girl sitting next to me, Anne.  She was watching while eating from a plastic carton of strawberries.  I like her lips, and imagined they taste like strawberries, she looked back at me and kissed me.  We laughed, I told her I eat strawberries with the top bit of leaves still on, I felt happy.

master chief Walkin

I was in the ship, in the berthing, in my rack which was on the very top.  It was lights out, the entire berthing was dimly lit in soft red light.  I was sick, it felt like a fever, I laid feeling sweaty and above my head, in arms reach was a network of sweaty pipes, wrapped in foam and thickly painted over.  I rolled over onto my stomach, then I felt the need to get up, and suddenly I felt weight on my back.  I was about to roll over and look when I felt hands around my neck, choking me and pulling me back, as if whatever it was is trying to bend me in half backwards, and my head started to rub against the pipes.  I couldn't scream and I was about to freak out, (I became aware I was dreaming and was thinking how to wake myself up), and it suddenly stopped.  I got out of my rack, still feeling sick and irritated.  I went to the shoe rack and one of my boots was missing, I looked around for it, in the other shoe racks to see which prick is messing with my fucking boots.  It was gone, so I left the berthing in my socks and walked toward my office.  Inside, DK1 McCollough was still up working, and started messing with me.  I was about to blame him for my missing boot when he told me to go get him mid-rats from the messdeck.  I did, calling him a fat ass, and he laughed.  When I got back with the food, the rest of the office was up.  He ate and told me to take the tray and utensils to the scullery, I was really irritated about this.  Then everyone in the office dropped their crap that needed to be washed on the tray, and I left angrily.  I wanted to use the scullery door on starboard side, but the p-way was covered in Tyvek wrap and it smelled like fresh paint.  So, i went to the port side, which had a slotted wall in the shapes of a tray, a fork, a spoon, a knife, and a cup.  I crammed the pieces in and felt angry because someone put a salt shaker on the tray, and there was no slot for that.  I didn't notice a trashcan next to the slots, and realized I shoved the tray in with food still on it, and I heard the scullery workers inside start bitching at me.  I dropped the salt shaker in the garbage before they could come out and see who, then a master chief stopped me.  It was Christopher Walkin, he was a master chief (lol), and he said I'm out of uniform, I didn't have boots on, and after I get my boots on, I had to go to his office for captains mast, he saw what I did at the scullery.  As he walked off he said "hey... shipmate... buck up!... you know... you gotta do... all these things... not the end of the world..." and made a pistol with his fingers and shot me, aiming with one eye closed.  I was angry and now i felt like I was in deep shit, but his last word made me feel better.  That's all I remember.

the other Painter

I was in my apartment doing homework, cooking, doing laundry and washing dishes at the same time.  Multi-tasking, I was trying to see how many things I could do at once because as I walked through my apartment, from area to area, and looked up, there was a reflection of me on the ceiling, but there was no mirror.  Instead it was another me upside down on the ceiling, following me around the apartment and at each area I stopped to do a chore, he stopped at an easel and started to paint, his arm movements matching mine.  I thought it was interesting and fun, I was happy this was happening to me, until the paint dripped down and got on my just washed clothes, just cleaned dishes, in my food and on my homework.  Then I thought maybe if I take a break, he will take a break and the paintings would have a chance to dry before we start again, as it was the constant application of fresh paint that was making it run a lot.  I laid on the floor, he laid on the ceiling and I tried to talk to him but there was no answer, just mimicked my movement, and I looked at him closer and saw his fingers ended in paint brushes.

the Window

I remember there was a group of angry people in the living room, I didn't see who, just heard them screaming.  It was the apartment I grew up in, except the walls were very high.  They were screaming about me, and I locked my door when I felt they would come for me.  My room had a light blue carpet, and a wooden bunk bed that was placed in the center of the room.  I got onto the top bunk and looked out the window, which had a view of the front door, and there is a hedge underneath the window sill.  It was night out, and the front door porch light was on, I heard the angry people leave, slamming the door and their shadows passing by the window.  Suddenly, the porch light turned off, and I crept down to the window to look out since it felt safer.  When I looked out (I can't really explain how I felt but I'll try), I saw the dirt road in the distance and there was snow on the ground.  I could make out the distant trees and gate faintly because the stars were so brilliant, and the stars were like vapor, slowly swarming around in the sky with different neon colors, like when you disturb a puddle in the parking lot that has oil and anti-freeze and whatever chemicals dripped out of the cars.  The horizon was also very low, as if my room had tilted to look up but my sense of gravity didn't change.  I stared into the starry vapor and I felt like I could see into them telescopically, and I started to see close and closer into them, like I sent my soul to them to search through them but I stood with my arms folded at the window sill.  I found what looked like a space station out there, it had the shape of a giant crucifix, it was grey and had random veins and scales, like a very old trees' bark.  All around were satellites orbiting it, and in the intersection of the cross a hatch opened and gold light spilled out.  The feeling of fear left me, and was replaced with a feeling of welcoming and longing to get in that hatch.  That's all I remember.

the walk Downtown

I remember walking down main street in Farmington.  It was bright and sunny out, and the air felt cool.  I was walking around while brushing my teeth, I felt really minty.  I walked into the Citizens Bank, which inside looked like a mall with a second floor, with a glass safety barrier.  I was walking above, looking down, still brushing my teeth, which was bizarre.  I walked into an office, there was a pair of guys sitting around a circular glass table, dressed in nice business attire, looked like they were having a meeting of some sort.  There was a restroom right past them, and they gave me queer looks seeing as though I was still brushing my teeth.  Out of the restroom a little boy came out, he freaked out a little when he noticed me, and froze staring at me.  He was also brushing his teeth, and when he realized I was too, he smiled and gave me a thumbs up when we walked past each other. (wtf?)  I opened the door to the restroom and it was a very tiny room, the floor was a few feet lower than the door and a few steps were recessed into the wall to get down, like the steps in a swimming pool.  The walls were painted red, and it was uncomfortably small.  My elbows rubbed into the walls and the red walls made me feel anxious.  The door being above my head was unnerving and I started to struggle to get out, banging my arms and legs on the sink and toilet and door handle.  I got out and ran past the men around the table to get outside. There was a park outside, full of people sitting on the grass eating and flying bizarre kites.  The kites looked like regular, diamond shaped kites having a tail with a few ribbons, but partway down the length of the line there were small nets catching insects as the wind blew them past.  I walked up to get some food from a cafeteria, and the people behind the counter were making fun of me for some reason, then their boss came out and everyone shut up.  They asked what I wanted and I looked on the menu and everything had bizarre names.  I just ordered the "avalanche", and they had me hold an empty plate up, then started to assemble a mountain of BBQ'd meat topped with mashed potatoes.  Then the workers started to cheer for me, saying get ready for the avalanche!  Then a guy poured gravy on top of the plate from a 5 gallon bucket and were jokingly cheering "don't drop it!" and stuff.  He kept pouring till it was dripping on the counter and reached my hands, it was scalding hot.  Then, I woke up.

the last Nail

I remember I took her to church.  The main sanctuary of the church looked like a ruined Greek acropolis.  There was no roof on it, just white columns and rows of pews on the bare ground with tall grass growing between them.  There were a lot of people I didn't know, just her. She is my ex.  Another dude went to her and took her away from me, leaving me alone in the back row.  The crowd looked happy to see her, the guy gave her some gifts that were a pair of heels and a new dress, then started to sing a song to her.  I felt extremely jealous and angry, I left.  In the hallway outside the sanctuary, it looked like a regular church. One of the doors was open and a man standing in the doorway asked if I could help him.  Inside the room the elderly man led me to a casket.  He asked if I could roll the casket outside to the graveyard because it was too heavy for him.  I said alright no problem, and I noticed on top of the casket was a nail and a hammer, and a spot seeming to be missing it.  I went ahead and drove the last nail in, and rolled the casket out.  When I reached the glass doors leading outside, it was raining and a group of young girls dressed in what looked like girl scout clothes were locked outside.  I unlocked the door and they were all very thankful to get out the rain.  Their leader told them to line up against the wall and thank me properly for helping them.  They each approached me and said thank you and kissed my hand, it was a little uncomfortable.  They said they would all help me dig the grave once the rain stopped, and they all pulled out a collapsible shovel from their backpacks.  That's all I remember.