the gold Coins

I dreamed about God.  Or something heavenly, with a voice like thunder.  His voice came from no one place, but from everywhere.  I was in a room with stone walls, it was long like a hallway but with only one door that I guess I came through and a lit fireplace at the other.  The air felt humid and stuffy.  The voice made me fall over to cover my ears and eyes, I was beginning to scream because it made my body tingle like when your leg falls asleep but way more intense with each word, I didn't hear my own screams.  He said something like "You were so blessed but I said he has to leave".  His tone, despite how much it hurt me, was eerily normal, like he wasn't even yelling at me or angry but I felt like I was gonna die anyway.  When the echoing boom subsided, I felt a coldness from my head spilling down my spine.  Next, I saw an old friend, and I was confused why the voice said a "he".  She was asleep on the floor, and I tried to wake her but she was lightly snoring and chattering her teeth.  I really didn't feel like talking to her anyway, thinking fuck it I'll just leave she'll never know.  When I got up, I realized I was bleeding from my upper back where the cold settled, down my arms and dripping from my fingertips.  I felt faint and sick and panicky, I didn't make it to the door I just laid on the floor and saw that my blood drops there were congealing into gold coins.  That's all I remember.

the Pinecone

I dreamed that I was about to go through surgery.  I was in a gown with a breeze on me butt, and I felt anxious and sick.  I laid on a table while a nurse took my vitals and said the doctor will be in shortly. I waited, looking at all the human anatomy and food guide pyramid posters, and felt the paper on the table crinkle against my bare ass (aaah damn it... hahaha!).  When the doctor came, he was prepared for surgery and asked if I wanted to be blindfolded (a dentist asked me this before, I said no and watched him get on the seat with me and wrestle a wisdom tooth out with a booming crack, it was nuts!).  I said no to the blindfold, and he used shot needles to anesthetize the area around my heart.  While he worked, he told me they have to replace my heart with a pinecone (???).  So I watch as he cuts me open, clamps the wound and spreads my ribs, yet I wasn't very appalled to witness.  It didn't hurt.  Then he cleanly removed my heart and replaced it with a pinecone, closed and sutured me up and said I have to go to aftercare.  He wheel chaired me across the hall and I felt my extremities tingling and beginning to become numb.  In aftercare, the nurse asked how I felt, I said everything is numb with pulsing tingles.  She said it's okay, the pinecone is opening and the seeds are sprouting, turning my blood vessels into roots, and that is good progress.  I calmly accepted it also, I just felt it was necessary.  I played with my hands while answering her questions like if I smoked and how much alcohol I consume and exercise routines, trying to feel roots growing or something, but only tingling....  I woke up on the couch with my arms above the armrest, tingling with cut off circulation.

Mrs. Attrition

I meditated, thinking about all the stuff bothering me.  It was easy to hear someone else's voice when I haven't seen much of anyone lately.  She told me reason, her voice is high pitched and playful, yet urgent and condescending.  She said first to stop being so fucking sad all the time.  My heart dropped and I felt a lump in my throat, but that's what she said I shouldn't do.  I swallowed it and breathed till my body was under control again.  She said I need to do some things over, I need to light corners of my life where bad things are hiding.  She said the one that you're denying is how hurt you are.  You held it all in, and it's overflowing finally.  Again, I resisted the desire to cry, but that's what she told me I need to release, so I let my body go and wept.  I felt tired and weak, she said I need to make friends.  It's not good being so alone, I got angry because I have friends and no enemies.  She told me I don't need enemies when I have the friends I have.  It angered me because it's true, I'm starting to not like her.  I feel sleepy but the floor is cold.  I was starting to drift away.  She said her name is Mrs. Attrition, she's my wife.  I said I'm single though, she replied I am in a different way. She said I need to do more cardio, and to let my emotions out when I do.  I used to do that, I told her, I remember blowing my legs apart in the park, feeling sick and depressed, but I kept running until my heaving breath changed how I felt, and I felt fucking good.  I said thanks for reminding me, but I need to go now.  She said okay you can wake up and use your body again, but you have to scream and growl until you're not angry anymore.  So I woke up and put a pillow in my face, letting go until a hot, damp pillow and cramping side left me laughing.

jaws

I dreamed I was in a city, it was tall and dense.  The people were scared, and on the news there was something about aliens attacking (haha!).  The power in the city went out, and everyone was quarantined in it by ships.  I went with a group of people I didn't know to escape and get food and supplies to bring back.  For some reason, I had parked my truck outside the city limits while hiking, I told the group we could use it to get food and I also had a rifle in it. We were able to leave the gate that surrounded it with fake I.D.'s, and the aliens looked like humans.  We got to the truck and drove to a military depot where soldiers loaded a pallet of stuff in the back, and we returned to the city.  Inside, we found that half the city had fallen into a lake that wasn't there before, so what remained of the city was rested at the edge of a cliff with water below. We ran into a building that was halved by the cliff, and below in the water there were lots of people screaming and struggling.  There were also silhouettes of sharks investigating the disaster.  Our group was upset and worried, yelling we have to save them.  I took my rifle and said if I can shoot a shark that was further away from the people, maybe the rest will follow the blood and give the people a chance to swim away.  I took a few shots, but the targets were too small and fast.  Then, I saw a huge sting ray gliding toward the frenzy, and I was able to hit it.  We watched and screamed at the people to swim away from the feeding frenzy, which erupted quickly and looked like boiling red water.  That's all I remember.

the shitty chicken Bucket

I dreamed I was back in the Navy.  I was on duty, and was on the roster for a watch.  For some reason, my grandma wanted to take me to dinner.  I was preparing for my watch when she asked, so on my way to the station, I did the shittiest thing and snuck off to meet my granny at some fast food restaurant.  I felt obligated to go because she said she was bringing my son.  When I got to the restaurant, it was at the top of some concrete steps, like 30 feet above the street.  It smelled like fried chicken and fried everything you could fry, like sniffing the air raises your cholesterol.  My grandma drove her car up the steps (???!!!) and everyone looked at her in shock. I started to walk up the steps, kind of embarrassed, but then terrified when I remembered I was in my uniform and about to go on watch so I also had a shotgun and pistol.  I quickly told grandma I had to go, she insisted I take a bucket of fried chicken so I did, and rushed back to the ship.  I went straight to my berthing, I was late for my watch. In the berthing I found my coworker, who was playing with a new camera.  I avoided him trying to take my picture, in case it became evidence.  Suddenly, my Chief busted into the berthing looking for me, he was mad.  I said I was on my way out to my watch station but I had diarrhea and had to poop first, and I was looking for this chicken bucket in case I had to poop in it on watch ( what the fuck?!?!?! ).  That's all I remember.

otaku Raifusutairu

I dreamed I moved into a new apartment.  It was the end of the world, so I didn't pay for it.  I just found an intact building and decided to live here, because it was secure, still had drapes and functioning locks.  It was clean, but no food or water.  I looked into the other apartments in the building and neighboring buildings for anything useful.  Most were decrepit and abandoned but I found one that was filled to the ceiling with garbage, with a walkway inbetween the filth, with flickering lights at the other end.  I walked through the garbage, which were booze bottles and take-out food stuff.  When I found the light, it was from a TV, there was someone playing video games there.  I was surprised to see anybody, and said hello. I knew him, and he said "Whoa! Hey!"  He stood up to shake my hand.  He was drunk and looked embarrassed about it.  He asked if I could give him a tattoo, I was a bit confused, how could he be like this considering the world was wrecked.  I felt pity for him and said "Nah, I haven't been tacking in a long time."  He offered a drink and I told him I haaaaaaaaaas to go now.  We said our goodbyes, which turned into an escape effort, and I went back to my new apartment.  I had found some food and I started to cook some "boil-in-bag" rice and a can of black beans for myself and my son, who came out of a room with his Star Wars "Tattooine Bar" Lego set.  I served him dinner and kissed his head.  I last remember the gratifying feeling you get seeing a child eating, like blissfully unaware and safe and happy.

the snort Gun

I first remember being in an auditorium.  the stage was set between two seating areas, kind of like a runway.  The play was supposed to be about guns, but there were no actual guns.  Everyone sitting with me was in costume, and I found we had just finished our performance and were about to watch the competing team.  It started, and the play made no sense.  It was weird, there was a man dressed as a baby and a duo of girls trying to do a Japanese animation routine, but they seemed lost in their act and embarrassed.  Then, a progression of people carrying people stacked on top of people came progressed out, like a human powered parade.  They danced and swayed to Indian music, it got really intense. I saw, in the opposite seating area, a girl I knew years ago.  She saw me and came up to say hi.  She had to yell at me, she was also dressed in costume and asked me to hold her prop, which was like a spacey, fantasized gun.  She screamed in my ear that I looked good and my arms are huge now, which of course made me feel awesome :] I pulled the trigger on her prop, and it made a noise and fired harmless but visible light beams.  She grabbed it and said "Oooo no! I don't know how to make it stop..."  The thing kept recharging, making an inhaling whoosh then fired with a vibrating snort, again and again while the music and snort sounds intensified.  Then, I woke up, and my laptop was playing a YouTube vid called "When white people listen to Indian music", which was where the music came from, and the snort gun was my snoring that woke me up.