after Suddenly

I dreamed I was on a mission.  Like a secret agent or something.  I had a friend but I questioned his loyalty.  He was small and conniving.  We were on our way to a restaurant, he said his family is hidden in the building somewhere.  Behind the dining area, beyond the kitchen, the building transformed into twisting hallways with many open doors.  It looked third world, it was dirty and walls were constructed with crude bits of garbage.  He gives me two bullets, saying it's all we have to infiltrate with, no gun for them.  We found his family, they greeted him happily but wouldn't let me in.  He went to his old room, changed into his childhood clothes and looked at me in shame.  The building had guards following us and they wanted to kill me.  I was angry, I was his decoy, I ran at him and asked why?!  No response, he hung his head.  I put one bullet in my mouth and told him to put the other in his, he obeyed like a guilty dog.  I told him to stay hidden as I went after the leader of whoever sent men to kill us.  I was back in the kitchen, someone grabbed me and said I'm late, to get my uniform on and serve the guests.  I served the leader in disguise, he had a gun on the table.  It was a high class dinner meeting.  The leader was speaking that their army had no more ammunition.  I spoke up, mumbling that I have a bullet to spare, spitting it out and offering it to him.  He was appalled that it was in my mouth, refusing to touch it.  I told him I will load it for him so he doesn't handle my germs, he agreed, so I loaded the weapon and shot his heart hiding behind so many medals.  His army had no fight, they looked at each other confused and saddened.  I ran back to my friend and his family to tell him the news.  They were all gone, except my friend, he was laughing and boasting that he killed his family, I became so angry, then he said he was also a leader of an army, against the one whose leader I had just assassinated.  I asked for the bullet, he spit it in my hand, saying he had come back to kill his family because they worked for his enemy.  I loaded the weapon and shot his heart hiding behind the children's clothing he wore.  Then I was instantly at home, with my son.  Nothing worked, no electricity, but there was a deep whisper in my head speaking directly into me.  He said you stopped the world and everyone is gone now, except you two.  It was late and I was putting my son to sleep, we prayed until he fell asleep, and I kept praying alone.  I said I was scared, and the voice asked what I wanted.  My first thought was a wife.  My next thought was safety, then rebirth, then survival, and then he stopped me.  He said that I need to provide the safety for those two, and that he would provide everything else.  I felt like crying and then my alarm clock went off.  The rest of today has just been weird, have you ever had a dream that just straight funked you out? Yikes.

wine to Water

I first remember I was packing for a hiking trip.  I was asked to be a sort of "guide" for a girl.  I was inventorying our things, it became clear what her intentions were after trying to figure out what to carry.  I was testing her bag, seeing how much water she could carry, she insisted on carrying alcohol as well.  I tested her bag to see if she could carry a tent, she insisted I carry one tent for the both of us.  I wasn't interested, she agreed to carry her own with a mischievous grin.  I thought, "Oh fuck... what am I getting into, I'm not even showing any interest in her.  I don't wanna go now, shit."  I realized there was two other people there, two Chiefs I remember from the Navy.  They said they got some things from the armory for me, handed me a huge seabag full of junk.  I told them I can't carry all this, we're going on foot.  They were persistent, I was annoyed.  I told the Chiefs, I'm not in the Navy anymore and I will not carry all this.  I opened the bag and it was full of ordnance and other bags (???).  I grabbed a backpack and an over-the-shoulder pack, telling them I'll just use these.  They offered me one of the many rifles from the bag, saying at least take this in case.  I said no, I don't need those anymore, in case of what!?  I told the girl I know where we're going and what to expect, and I come prepared anyway.  I told her that I'm not going to drink or sleep with her, and if she still wants to go to carry her own tent.  I felt in control, where earlier I felt gullible and being taken advantage of, it felt good.  That's all I remember.