the queen of Hearts (meditation)

I was thinking about a story.  I was making it up in my head.  My body felt tired, I was on my knees with my eyes closed.  The exercise I'm trying is to find your equilibrium, to let your body to rest while allowing your mind to fight itself between tired dream-states and keeping your body from falling over.  Since it's been on my mind in excess lately, I thought about love.  Nothing complicated, nothing negative, I just felt like believing in it right now.  I was in a field with a calm breeze, there was a lone tree I walked toward.  Cliché as fuck, I know, but I needed a started point, shit.  Under the tree was a blanket laid out, a basket with a bottle of wine, opener and two glasses, and also a note tucked under the bottle.  I thought no, nope, too corny, gonna start over.  Then, the wind whipped the note from under the bottle.  I instinctively moved to intercept it, catching it, I saw the handwriting was distressed.  It read that she was about to be buried alive, and wrote a fake love note to me because her captors planned to cover the site with her romantic gestures.  I pulled the blanket up,  the ground was disturbed and discolored, and there was a black spade left,  implying the dig.  I grabbed it and started digging.  The ground was still aerated, it hadn't settled.  It was easy to dig, I used my hands first then scooped with the tool, so I didn't accidently hurt her.  I kept going, quickly, my back and arms hurt, I felt that as I sat on my knees so still.  My head had fallen back and my breathing was shallow, but in my mind I am desperate and struggling.  Suddenly, the ground became hard.  I uncovered more area, but it stopped at that level, and sweeping the loose dirt off the harder undersurface revealed scratches in it.  I was confused, then felt her.  She didn't touch me, but I felt her looking at me, down at me.  I became aware she was in the tree, but I didn't look.  When the desperation subsided and I regained slower thought, I matched myself, my mind matched my body on my knees, my breath is shallow.  I was dreaming.  I grabbed the bottle opener out of the basket and used it to skewer a line of holes through the harder ground.  The scratches, I realized, were from those before who scratched at the ground and gave up.  I opened the wine, took a large sip and poured the rest into the holes, wetting the ground.  Then, I shoved the spade between the loosened, damp line, prying out a slab of rock.  Then, I heard her.  She asked "If I am the Queen of your heart, who are you?"  I showed her the tool and said that I'm the King of spades. She was next to my ear, her hand touching my lips, she playfully whispered "Shhhhut! Take me for another bottle of wine...."  I reached out to embrace her and lost my balance, waking as I caught myself in time from the floor.