the Womb

First I remember everything being dark, having eyes was useless yet my body seemed highly sensitive to physical feeling.  It started in my core, from the the back of my neck where my spine starts, and moved slowly down my spine in icy pulses.  I suddenly became aware I was lying in a fetal position, and I wanted to lay on my back to warm that sensation, but I couldn't move.  I felt too lazy, and my eyes began to work.  It was a very dim, soft fleshy glow.  I lay thinking I'm awake, and that I would really like to continue back to sleep now.  Then the ice in my spine turned to vibrations, and tingling began in my fingers, toes, and forehead.  It pulsed and grew through me slowly, as if my body was water and I felt every uncomfortable ripple disturbing me as it rained.  Now I wanted to move, and I tried but I couldn't.  I felt my body lifting up into the air, yet my gut wrenched as if I were falling.  It started to hurt, I wanted to kick the sheets off and feel a cool breeze.  The glow became more brilliant and more reddish, and I saw darker red lines like streams on a map.  It really hurt. The pulses moved so fast they almost became continually one, or I had become paralyzed in time itself at the climax of those vibrations.  I started to scream, but my lungs refused to take or expel a breath.  I gave up fighting against it, because it's familiar, and I knew I need to just hold on and endure it and it would soon go away.  Then it did, so unexpectedly as I always expect it to, and I woke up shivering and a violent shoulder shake, hyperventilating until I took control of my tongue and breath.  The Sun had risen and was shining directly at my face through the window, I suppose my mother had opened the curtains to wake me up.

*When I was a child, I used to frequently have paralysis/levitation/falling nightmares, where I became conscious and self-aware yet my body was still at rest, from which I always awoke in a sort of seizure.