meditation

I sat cross-legged on the floor, in front of a mirror leaned against the wall. I turned the lights off, only seeing the faint sunset glow behind me from the window.  I thought to myself I better not linger too long like this because I realized I just made my bedroom depressing as fuck.  So, I stared at my right eye with half open eyes, thinking. I thought about food, because my body needed it. I told my body okay soon. My eyes adjusted to the dark but I stared at my eye. I thought about stress, not what was stressing me out currently but what it is doing to my body.  My neck hurts, I tire easily, I find perhaps I'm not sleeping well. I must be moving a lot in sleep.  My eyes adjusted again, dimmer, because I was not using them though they were open. I suddenly felt drowsy, even my back wanted to quit holding me upright. I just focused on my breath for awhile, until I watched in my peripheral vision fuzzy purple globs dancing around, and white flashes high in corners. Then, I moved my eyes suddenly because I felt hot tears on my cheeks. Everything instantly adjusted, I had fallen asleep with my eyes open and when dried, gushed hot wet salt.  I felt fear, I don't know what about, but like a jumpy panic adrenalin surge through me and I let out a whimpering cry. I felt relief after, even a comical satisfaction from my body expelling fear so unexpectedly, I watched myself laughing at myself in the dark mirror for a moment.  That was interesting.