the watch Stander

I dreamed I was in a canyon, it looked like Angel Peak.  I felt a sense of urgency, like when you're doing something wrong.  I was definitely being sneaky.  I passed someone on the hiking path, he was in a military uniform.  I saluted him and he said my watch is over and I should go to sleep now.  I complied, and asked if I could get some food first.  He said alright and to hurry, but I intended to escape with my belongings.  I continued to the bottom of the canyon and found there were bunks out in the open and people occupying them, with the ground seeming to slowly rise to devour them in their sleep.  Considering I was after the contents in my bunk, I realized it was everything I own in a small box.  I crept past the sleeping soldiers to my bunk, where underneath I had hidden a munitions box. Inside were 7.62 and 9mm bullets, and a folder with documents.  I put the bullets in my coat pockets and looked over the documents.  One of them wasn't mine, it was a receipt to a hotel I didn't stay at.  I looked over it like "how the fuck did this get in here?"  Reading the details, it became familiar and hurtful what it stood for.  I placed it on the ground and watched the dirt slowly cover it, keeping myself moving so the rising sands wouldn't swallow my boots up.  When I got my folder tucked in my jacket, I ran toward the canyon walls, I started to climb quickly, each time I looked back the sand had covered more and more bunks, swallowed up more soldiers in their sleep.  I got to the top and my legs burned.  I felt an uncontrollable rush of sadness when I realized I was alone.  There was no car parked in the lot, no familiar face to take me home.  I just started to walk, hands in my pockets full of ammunition.  I just kept walking with a lump in my throat, the earth crunching under my boots.  That's all I remember.

all the kings Horses

I dreamed I was in a house with many doors, the floors were uneven and the steps leading to rooms did not make sense.  All the doors had flags hanging from them, just geometric shapes and colors.  They stood for differing factions, the residents of the house were angry at each other and there was a war happening.  I realized the people living here were not soldiers but still had their factions and beliefs, yet were forced to live in this complex.  There was a girl there that was nice to everyone, I felt nothing for her, and she approached me.  She asked if I could take her and her friends on a road trip away from here, and said she would give me a gift.  I said okay, so we all got together in an RV, I drove them.  Her and her friends, all guys, were in the back drinking, reckless in bliss, I saw her making out with them, each until they passed out.  In her drunken state, she sat next to me and gave me a gift bag, saying here is that thing I promised you, but please don't let the guys see it.  I said fine, and placed it in the door pocket to open later.  She then tried to kiss me, I resisted, and she became angry.  She yelled at me, said "I don't want to get married to a bum in that little town!", that's why she asked me to drive her away.  She said she planned to get her friends drunk and ask me to leave them at a rest stop.  I was confused, and I became fearful of opening her gift.  She became very sexually aggressive with me, playful and naïve.  I had to stop the RV and walk away, she had no idea I thought she was fucking psycho.  The girls father had called the police on me, saying that I kidnapped her.  I complied when they caught us, saying it was the girl setting us all up.  When the police questioned her, she began to cry and plead with her friends.  They seemed gullible, saying that they wanted to run away and their relationship with each other was complicated.  She victimized herself and played the part through, hanging on them like she never conjured to leave them on the highway.  Throughout the entire investigation she looked at me sadly and lost, like somehow I too was supposed to help her lie.  The officer asked about the gift I accepted in payment, I said I haven't opened it yet.  I retrieved it from the RV and when he looked inside he immediately confiscated it, that's all I remember.

Teri-yucky sauce

I dreamed I was in the house I grew up in.  There's a closet that only opens to the outside, right next to the front door.  It only locks from the outside, I was always afraid of it for that.  Inside was dirty, packed full of dusty storage bins and outdoor equipment.  I needed to get near the back of the closet, where my bike was hanging on the wall.  I started to climb over junk towards it when suddenly the door slammed shut and I heard wind rustling on the other side.  I got scared, the only light were from gaps in the doors.  I screamed and banged on the door.  Above me a light came, glowing neon blue.  I looked and it was a collection of cobwebs, it looked gross.  There were spiders about the size of my hand all over the webbing, and the ceiling seemed to be taller than it was before.  The web was growing, expanding, then swelling.  The light was from cocoons inside growing, filling a space of webbing that had swelled to the size of a trash bag.  I couldn't get my body flatter against the ground if I tried, it was so fuckin' gross and terrifying, spiders crawling all over.  Suddenly the door opened, it was my grandmother.  I was a bat out of hell, dashing onto the ground and rolling around, inspecting my body frantically for spiders or webs or cocoons.  I watched my grandma poke the swelling bag, and said "I'll call the exterminators".  My friend Leon was there, he had pedaled up on his bike like we were children again, but we were adults, it was weird.  He asked if he could move in with me, he needed a place to stay.  I said cool, that would be awesome, but the spiders.  I last remember Leon and I conspiring how could we torch the closet clean, and for some reason he was convinced that sweet ginger teriyaki sauce is flammable so we should use that.

meditation

I sat cross-legged on the floor, in front of a mirror leaned against the wall. I turned the lights off, only seeing the faint sunset glow behind me from the window.  I thought to myself I better not linger too long like this because I realized I just made my bedroom depressing as fuck.  So, I stared at my right eye with half open eyes, thinking. I thought about food, because my body needed it. I told my body okay soon. My eyes adjusted to the dark but I stared at my eye. I thought about stress, not what was stressing me out currently but what it is doing to my body.  My neck hurts, I tire easily, I find perhaps I'm not sleeping well. I must be moving a lot in sleep.  My eyes adjusted again, dimmer, because I was not using them though they were open. I suddenly felt drowsy, even my back wanted to quit holding me upright. I just focused on my breath for awhile, until I watched in my peripheral vision fuzzy purple globs dancing around, and white flashes high in corners. Then, I moved my eyes suddenly because I felt hot tears on my cheeks. Everything instantly adjusted, I had fallen asleep with my eyes open and when dried, gushed hot wet salt.  I felt fear, I don't know what about, but like a jumpy panic adrenalin surge through me and I let out a whimpering cry. I felt relief after, even a comical satisfaction from my body expelling fear so unexpectedly, I watched myself laughing at myself in the dark mirror for a moment.  That was interesting.

sundance

I dreamed very stressfully. I had a project to do, I felt like I was failing because I meant to help people but have pushed it back for awhile now. This manifested as my grandmother. I always help her with things, but I felt indebt to her in my dream. I went to her house to see what I can do.  It was bizarre, as if night and day were squished between the horizons.  Gold light from the sun and purple glow from the full moon made nothing seem sensible in a dizzying effect. My uncle Phillip is staying with her, her brother.  I didn't want to see him, he's struggling with alcohol and I didn't feel up to it, in fact I'm sick of hearing from so many about a lack of selfdiscipline.  So many sad stories.  My uncle has a dog, I actually never seen him but I dreamed about him.  I expected him to be a good dog and defend the house when I drove up. He did, I dreamed he was a small dog though.  Familiar, he was like a vicious puppy, yet he was old.  He had markings like a pitbull but his vicious tenacity was trapped in the body of a chihuahua. A familiar looking specimen, but his name was Sundance.  He attacked my shoes.  I turned my back on him, I felt fearless, and he stopped. He squeaked and whimpered playfully. I turned toward Sundance and he had transformed into a giant fuckin' shaggy white dog.  I instantly recognized him as Falcor from the never ending story, and I had become the Native American boy Atreyu.  Geeked out.  The living room was dark except for the television being on, and my other uncle, deceased, who died of his alcohol addiction, spoke to me with bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.  He said thank you for helping my sister, and to please help his brother, and offered a hand shake out.  I listened, but thought it useless to shake a ghosts hand.  I went to say hello to my uncle Phillip, to tell him his little doggy won't fit through the front door anymore. The kitchen where he sat was black, almost nonexistent in space. That's all I remember.

???

I dreamed I filled a kiddie pool with milk and donuts, then used a 3 ft. decor spoon I seen at Pier 1 Imports to try and eat the biggest bowl of cheerios ever...  (???)

???

I dreamed I went to a zoo, but it was unlike a conventional zoo, it was an indoor zoo that looked more like a museum.  I went through the halls that were stuffed full of taxidermy animals and placards with animal and plant information.  It didn't seem like there were any rooms, just halls.  In one hall there was an attraction, there were bobcats in hibernation.  The hall was refrigerated, and lined up across the floor against the walls were sleeping bobcat kittens tucked under snow like a blanket, just their heads poking out with sleepy faces and button noses and little tufts of hair on their twitchy eartips and yawning little squeaks with tiny pink tongues and needle teeth and it was just cute as fuck!!!! My shoelace was untied, I didn't notice until one kitten grabbed it, then all the kittens broke out of their snowy blankets and started attacking my shoelaces, and the zookeeper was yelling at me trying to get them to calm down, he said he didn't want the big one to wake up.  The big one was an adult bobcat sleeping in a bowl about the size of a tire, and it started moving.  The zookeeper was like "shit!", I watched as the adult woke up and started to cry, and then I woke up when the bobcats' cry sounded like a baby crying in a crib.