praying Womantis

I dreamed I was in my room, in bed.  I heard rustling so I got up to turn on the lights, and everything was blurry.  I didn't have my glasses, but there was a tangle of furry brown and shiny black tumbling around on the floor.  I was looking for my glasses, careful to avoid the wrestling tangle, and I dropped my glasses between the wall and the bed.  I pulled the bed out and looked for them, but the floor was full of broken pieces of glasses.  Then I heard a woman screaming, like WTF is going on in my room!?!?!?!?  I grabbed some mismatched pieces of glasses and assembled a new pair, and when I looked the tangled mess had stopped wrestling, it was a big fukn tarantula and a black widow, like small dog sized.  They were just staring at my door with their many shiny black eyes.  Then the woman screamed again, from my doorway, and when I looked there was not a woman there, but a praying mantis as tall as me standing there, eerily still except its eyes scanning around the room.  I wanted to hug the tarantula, then the fukn mantis screamed again and I woke up like FUCK MAN!! UuuUUGgghHH that sucked!!!

steel Spaghetti

I dreamed I was in a mobile home.  I was there with an ex-girlfriends' family.  I felt out of place yet I was welcomed. It was night out, the family was getting ready for bed.  I was to sleep on the couch, so I stretched out to relax.  They had a fluffy cat, who jumped on me and walked up and down my belly. I pet it, speaking to it like "Hi! What's your name? You sure like brushing your tail on my face..  You smell too."  Then the cat walked onto my neck and face, how rude.  I was about to get up and displace it when it accidently stepped in my mouth, I choked and coughing spooked it away.  So, I again stretched out to sleep, but there was hair in my mouth.  It started with wiping my tongue against my lips and making "pfft pfft" sounds, then taking wads out with my fingers.  It intensified, I was choking on hair, which turned whisker like.  Then to wire, then to thin strips of metal.  It became stuck, like I was slurping a wad of spaghetti, but it was twisty, tangled, bent strips of metal.  It tasted like iron and bitter, pervasive, dehydrating oil.  My ex's mom was outside and she seen me struggling through the window.  She looked horrified, then her son was beside her.  He shut her eyes and dragged her away.  He angrily came inside, accusing me of being a demon or something.  I tried to explain that the cat stepped inside my mouth, but I couldn't speak with so much metal hanging out my gullet.  He put his arms around me and lifted me up easily, I was surprised he did.  He pressed me against a wall, then grabbed the metal and tried to pull it out with his other hand holding my forehead.  It hurt a lot, I became bewildered with anger.  I wanted to catch his chin with my palm, just to end the pain, but I was paralyzed, the only thing I could do was bite down harder on the metal.  That's all I remember.

how to crawl through pearl gates on your last breath

I was with my friend Jeremy in Japan.  We just got off work, walked home during a rainy evening.  We didn't say much, like spent zombies unable to mumble above the onslaught of gentle raindrops exploding all around, it was beauty speaking to two dead men.  When we got home, Jeremy spoke, saying that was boring, the fucking rain.  I said it was cool, we should have stopped at the 7&i (convenience store) and grabbed some bottles, no work tomorrow.  "No shit, you should have said something after we got off the train, fool...  Fuck it lets go back, we're already soaked anyway."  Again, silent zombies listening to the life erupting around us.  At the time, we both struggled, individually, but had an idea what the other was going through.  We were young and heartbroken, inexperienced and reckless.  We bought 4 bottles of Soju (liquor), countless Chu-Hi's (booze), cigarettes and some noms we couldn't read but whatever.  We walked again back home, drinking tins of Chu-Hi and taking shots out of the first bottle of Soju.  We became drunk and walked past our street.  We just kept walking and drinking, finally talking and laughing.  Our clothes were heavy, laden with water unable to dry.  The rain stopped, we tried to smoke a bit damp cigarette that burned our lungs, whatever.  There was nobody out, just dim lights in our town and the violent ocean thrusting against the shore of her.  We both had a her, a home that was lit dimly, we were both heavy in thought, laden with memories of sunshine and sober efforts.  We became angry, two oceans crashing into each other, we fought and screamed.  Lovingly and confused, ignorant and bewildered with good intention.  Then, suddenly adrenalized as we had to help each other jump a few gates from annoyed residents.  Finally we stopped, we whispered to each other, "You're right man, sorry", while thinking "I should really take my own advice, I'm a hypocrite"...  The Sun came back, only illuminating the clouded skies, the streets were still dark between tall, dense structure.  We walked home, lost and inebriated, mistaken and embarrassed.  Still ignorant, stumbling and cursing the damp ground who waited to embrace our lifeless bodies.  Yet still, we made it home together, no lesson learned, not humbled, but instead we felt invulnerable and indulgent.  She didn't matter anymore, the cold rain of her dried away, and the chilling wind of his her no longer gripped him. 

ignorance and Lies

I dreamed I was in a Halloween costume.  It was shaggy and dark, with an ivory goat head.  I was in a mall with two of my cousins, Tyler and Micah.  Micah got thirsty and went to the food court, then we saw security take him to the back.  Tyler said he tried to steal water and was caught, so we left like whatever, Micah is always doing something stupid.  Tyler asked if she could hold my hand because a bunch of guys are cat-calling her, I said okay just hang on my arm, and we walked down the length of the mall.  Suddenly, I see my dad and my brother.  They noticed Tyler, and my Dad was shocked when I took off my goat head, I was furious.  He was about to say hi and hug me (for show), but I cut him off and asked why he hasn't returned my sister or mine phone calls.  He was speechless and looked everywhere but at me, then angrily I said "I know you, despite the show you put on and the mistaken reputation you have, I know who you truly are, and who you truly are doesn't care what your own son thinks, you piece of shit."  He began to walk away, and I followed, taunting that he is walking away in ignorance again.  He suddenly turned and asked what I want... I said I want two things, for you to own up to the shit person you are and then to help my sister pay for her medical bills.  Again, he walked away.  Then, someone grabbed me, saying "We gotta go it's showtime."  It seemed I was supposed to participate in a haunted house.  So I went along, scaring folks by "bah-h-h-h"ing like a goat and rushing out a corner screaming.  One girl was overwhelmed and fainted, so I dragged her to a seat screaming "Help!", then she came to.  I made her stay seated a bit while I got her a glass of water, there was a barred window with receptionists in front of the kitchen.  I ran up and asked for a cup to give the fainted girl water.  She gave me a clipboard and said I have to sign for it.  I was like "It's just a cup I only need it for a minute."  She replied that it was for the water, not the cup.  I was confused, but I signed.  Before she handed me the glass of water she said she needs to take out a tax, and poured half of the glass out.  I was like WTF!? Whatever, I ran the glass over to the girl.  She still looked uneasy, so I took the glass and ran out the haunted house into the mall to get a full glass.  EZ PZ, no tax, but when I returned she was gone.  Instead, there was an old friend there.  His name is Sorrel, he was dressed very sharp and in the middle of dinner, an ivory bowl of ravioli.  I became curious, asking him what kind of ravioli it is, he said he's not sure, his girlfriend made it.  I asked if it was butternut squash, and I began opening my backpack.  He asked why hell do I want to know, and I pulled out my dinner, which was butternut squash ravioli in the same ivory bowl.  He looked at me like WTF!?  Tasting his, he said yeah it's butternut squash, and I told him the girl I'm seeing made this for me.  We began a serious question game, asking who are her friends and hobbies and such, both of us afraid to say her name in case it was true.  I was beginning to doubt if my relationship was fukn worthless, like I'm a side-guy and she's just "slumming it" because Sorrel looked like he could better take care of a girlfriend financially.  I felt that familiar sick, anxious feeling and told myself no, you are hardened by now against this kind of bullshit.  I told Sorrel I have to go back to the haunted house, putting on my goat head, I gave him my dinner and told him it's his burden if he wants to confront her, because I had suddenly become careless.  That's all I remember.

clever Girl

I dreamed I was in beach sand.  There were high walls, they were thick and looked concrete, there was no ceiling and the Sun was bright.  I was with a lot of other men, we had weapons.  Spears and funny looking swords.  The high walls cut a corridor through the sand, and ended in a rectangular room, with the same walls and no ceiling.  We ran into the room, and I saw we were attacking a giant lion, it was huge, an entire man could have been a good mouthful to it.  We relentlessly threw ourselves at it, we were making progress to its slaughter.  Although a giant, the lion seemed slow.  Someone yelled that the pit is open, and we made the lion to back up into a square hole large enough to swallow the lion at the end of the room.  Sand cascaded into the hole, making the angry lion slip in easily.  After it disappeared inside, we all heard and felt a loud boom, marking the lion had hit the bottom of the pit.  We gathered in celebration, peering into the hole, but what we saw quickly dissuaded our joy.  The giant lion was surrounded by other big cats, not giants, but normal sized lions, tigers and cougars.  They climbed onto the giant lion, and all sat on its head.  Then jaguars and leopards climbed into its mane, looking to leap across a tree.  Then, the giant lion jumped toward the opening of the pit, and at the climax of his slow ascent, all the cats on his head and mane were in leaping distance of the pit opening, and they did in unison.  All the cats clambered out and attacked the men.  Then again, we heard and felt a loud boom, marking the giants return to the pit depths.  I didn't feel scared, above the open pit was the lid lifted into the air, alongside the tall wall.  I used my spear to "pole-vault" up and was able to catch an edge with my hands, then clamber on top.  When I looked down at the fight, the men were being slaughtered, the sand turned to red mud.  I thought I was safe up here, but a tiger leaped up after me, enough to swipe at my legs and I fell toward the edge.  My face looked over it but my body was still away from the edge, I tried to stand up again, but the tiger again leaped quickly and she was able to catch my neck between a set of incisors, and drag me off my perch.  I woke up convulsing from a cramp in my neck, and I felt scared.

my new friend, the unangeled Angel.

I call him my friend, as modern dichotomy describes.  However, he is old.  Much older than I.  I met him in a place I would loathe, but had the open mind to say fuck it and go anyway.  The menu promoted death, and the kitchen reeked of death.  I am also not fond of sports, but I went.  There, I thought I was a sight.  The girls said I'm hot, the guys became intimidated.  I became  used to this, but one person unexpectedly, this outing, I was put in my place.  He was much older than I.  I always have the same angered demeanor in public like this, I like it when I enter a place and I am a presence.  I am respected without a word, and intimidating where darkness becomes lighted.  And still, today, this man made my eyes grow soft and teary, I was not afraid, but intimidated, yes.  I'm not used to anyone approaching me, a stranger would not do this.  He looked into me, said you have a kind face.  Then that I am strong, but only physically.  He said I am intimidating, but only to those who haven't been messed with.  He tried me, he asked everything guys ask other men, my answers were daft and short.  He said you can do better, and that turned my ear.  I've never been insulted by a stranger such.  He said my eyes are kind and tortured.  I became angry, he was showing me aggressive eyes, saying he boxed 17 years in his life, and now taught the sport.  He said we are men, and need to present a presence where we go, to be strong physically and emotionally.  I agreed, although I was pissed that by now he was trying to show me how to box, almost hitting my face, in an open bar.  I withheld my anger, and he said he recognized my agitation, just from how I looked at him, and then my understanding that he fell harmless.  I fought tears next, when he said I was the alpha when I walked into the building, and that his place was next to give me his lesson, saying he was so old.  When I looked at him again, with kind eyes, understanding, he teared up also.  For a moment.  A fukn stranger I shared this with, and what he showed me about boxing and being intimidating I will understand forever.  I don't linger on this, but I told my angel, that angry old boxer, that I understand and his knowledge is not wasted on my ears.  His name is Bert, this is a true story.

after Suddenly

I dreamed I was on a mission.  Like a secret agent or something.  I had a friend but I questioned his loyalty.  He was small and conniving.  We were on our way to a restaurant, he said his family is hidden in the building somewhere.  Behind the dining area, beyond the kitchen, the building transformed into twisting hallways with many open doors.  It looked third world, it was dirty and walls were constructed with crude bits of garbage.  He gives me two bullets, saying it's all we have to infiltrate with, no gun for them.  We found his family, they greeted him happily but wouldn't let me in.  He went to his old room, changed into his childhood clothes and looked at me in shame.  The building had guards following us and they wanted to kill me.  I was angry, I was his decoy, I ran at him and asked why?!  No response, he hung his head.  I put one bullet in my mouth and told him to put the other in his, he obeyed like a guilty dog.  I told him to stay hidden as I went after the leader of whoever sent men to kill us.  I was back in the kitchen, someone grabbed me and said I'm late, to get my uniform on and serve the guests.  I served the leader in disguise, he had a gun on the table.  It was a high class dinner meeting.  The leader was speaking that their army had no more ammunition.  I spoke up, mumbling that I have a bullet to spare, spitting it out and offering it to him.  He was appalled that it was in my mouth, refusing to touch it.  I told him I will load it for him so he doesn't handle my germs, he agreed, so I loaded the weapon and shot his heart hiding behind so many medals.  His army had no fight, they looked at each other confused and saddened.  I ran back to my friend and his family to tell him the news.  They were all gone, except my friend, he was laughing and boasting that he killed his family, I became so angry, then he said he was also a leader of an army, against the one whose leader I had just assassinated.  I asked for the bullet, he spit it in my hand, saying he had come back to kill his family because they worked for his enemy.  I loaded the weapon and shot his heart hiding behind the children's clothing he wore.  Then I was instantly at home, with my son.  Nothing worked, no electricity, but there was a deep whisper in my head speaking directly into me.  He said you stopped the world and everyone is gone now, except you two.  It was late and I was putting my son to sleep, we prayed until he fell asleep, and I kept praying alone.  I said I was scared, and the voice asked what I wanted.  My first thought was a wife.  My next thought was safety, then rebirth, then survival, and then he stopped me.  He said that I need to provide the safety for those two, and that he would provide everything else.  I felt like crying and then my alarm clock went off.  The rest of today has just been weird, have you ever had a dream that just straight funked you out? Yikes.